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I don’t like to cry. Actually, that’s an understatement, I hate crying with a passion! A deep deep passionate hate actually. I can tell you the specific times I have cried in the past 5-7 years. It happens that seldom and is that big of a deal. This deep seeded disdain for crying fits my personality well. I’m a down to earth, very logical kind of guy. Emotions really aren’t my specialty. I understand them, I respect them in other people, but I always tend to think of emotions as something that gets in the way of reality.

The last few weeks has changed all that. I have been going through something the last few weeks that has caused me to cry more than I have the past few years. Actually its something I’ve been going through for a number of years… I know most of you have no idea what I am talking about, and that’s really ok. It’s not totally crucial to the point of this post. (Perhaps one day I will fully disclose what exactly I am talking about here)

What I’ve learned is that crying is ok. Actually, crying is more than ok, its necessary, healthy, and refining. It helps us remember that we’re humans with feelings and emotions and sometimes those get so overwhelmed, all we can do is cry. No words, just tears.

Crying makes me realize that I don’t always have the answers and that’s ok. It makes me realize that I don’t always have the exact right word to sum something up, and that’s ok too. Crying helps me understand I am not in control and I don’t have to be. Crying is surrender and victory all rolled up in one.

Even as I type this crazy post, I find myself freed up through my tears. That’s crazy, that’s life…

(You know there is so much more to come…)